You have to get the person you are talking to to talk about themselves – This is the subject THEY are the most comfortable with. Some sample questions you can ask is for them to tell a story about … whatever…. “tell me how you got here tonight”, “so you are into music.. tell me how you got into music”… just get them talking about themselves.
Be interested in what they are saying – Smile and listen. Don’t be creepy though. In order to be Interesting you have to be Interested
Chase talked about a method he learned from Vanessa Van Edwards on her talk about body language. All you do is tilt your head sideways and nod three times when someone is finishing up a statement. He says it’s freaky how predictable the result is… the person keeps talking. So if you are really interested in what they are saying (step 2) then you will definitely hear a connection point that you can use in the next step
At some point in the conversation, the person you are talking to will ask you “So what do YOU do?” If you’ve done things right, you will know exactly how to loop what YOU do into what they do. Be careful here though, you don’t switch into salesman mode. You are still trying to see if what you do and what they do will mesh. If it will, tell them you’d love to help.